


how we got to here (it's not a happy tale)

by Nerdling_Queen



Series: i'm not here looking for absolution (i found myself an old solution) [4]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Ryn's Multiverse
Genre: AU, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Kinda, M/M, MY POOR PINING QUEER BABIES, Multi, Multiple Personalities, Nonbinary Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Poor Simon, Sadness, Unrequited Love, and confusing, and the pretend relationship does not become a real relationship, i know how that usually goes but that's not how this goes, it's all very strange, poor Izzy, so much pining, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdling_Queen/pseuds/Nerdling_Queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The explanation for how the characters straight from City of Heavenly Fire got to who they are in hwga(siye). 'Tis a long and heartwrenching tale, filled with pining and angst and unrequited love- and I do mean unrequited, not that fake unrequited shit that's mutual pining but the author decides to use the 'unrequited' tag instead-<br/>*ahem*<br/>Sorry.<br/>As I was saying: lots of pining from poor queer babies who just want to be loved, lots of flowery descriptions, and a shit ton of feels.<br/>YOU'RE WELCOME.<br/>(also, DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR hwga(siye)!!!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Simon

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [here we go again (straight into your embrace)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927733) by [Nerdling_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdling_Queen/pseuds/Nerdling_Queen). 



> (get ready for a long A/N, minions.)  
> I usually try to keep most of canon intact in the hwga(siye) series, but since Jimon is my OTP (aside from Malec, of course) and have a special fondness for Claribelle, obviously that part of canon is being kicked out the window… sort of.  
> See, in hwga(siye), the idea is that Clace was together, and everything in canon (on their end) really DID happen. I’m not changing that. But my headcanon is the more logical (in my personal opinion) end to that relationship: months- maybe, at most, two years- after the books conclude, they realize that their “love” was born out of apocalyptic circumstances, weird-ass blood bonds via Valentine’s experiments, and mutual attraction. The emotions softened over time into what they “should” have been: familial love. Jace feels toward Clary how Isabelle feels toward Alec. There’s no romance there anymore, so they split up, totally mutual and no bad feelings. Honestly, I support the idea of true love and love at first sight, but the way Clace develops is UTTER BULLSHIT. I love romance, and I understand that love stories are rarely realistic, but the way Cassie portrays their relationship pisses me the fuck off. So I headcanon Clace as broken up and loving one another as siblings.  
> Now, Sizzy/Simabelle is a little different. I actually do ship them, (BECAUSE THEY HAVE A BELIEVABLE RELATIONSHIP IN CANON), but in hwga(siye) Simon and Isabelle have a fake relationship born out of mutual rejection. Confused? The idea is that Simon is pining over Jace, Isabelle is pining over Clary, and they both know of the other’s feelings, so they decided to pretend to be together and try and get over Clace. Obviously, this didn’t work; Izzy and Simon are bros, but they aren’t romantically involved and they never really were. (The kiss scenes from canon are borne of desperation, misery, and hopeless pining, because I’m evil.)   
> So, this is a collection of edited and added scenes from canon and beyond, rewritten with the romantic elements I headcanon, not in chronological order. Mostly Simon or Isabelle POV, since- like I said- I’m keeping the canonical Clace mostly intact. You’re welcome…?  
> ONWARDS, MINIONS!!!  
> (so sorry this took so long, i really needed to get off my ass)

Simon drags Clary to Pandemonium because it’s where he needs to be, and he’s not entering this mess without Clary, not again. The bright lights and colors of the club spin and pulse in his eyes, the music vibrating in his bones, and he keeps every sense perked for signs of them. He knows they’re here, even without the Sight that Clary has, and he knows the moment the faux-mundane catches sight of them. Her eyes widen, and Simon feels her pulse speed up- it’s probably not even noticeable to her, but they know the signs well even when they’re not present in himself. Clary knows, at some level, that her destiny just arrived.

He pretends ignorance because he must, but his blood is singing and his head pounds with awareness. _He’sherehe’sherehe’shere_ is drummed out with every beat of his heart, blood turned to magma and bones to glass; he feels both fragile and invulnerable in his presence, the way the others felt all the time _(especially when they kissed)_. Simon feels the gold pressing at his irises and pushes firmly down (( _wait, it’s not time yet, wait_ )), and he quiets obediently. Simon feels them, all of them, humming with anticipation and longing inside his soul, and he smiles because he’s been waiting for his own chance at this since he learned what love and destiny is.

Clary goes after them and Simon stops resisting the pull; he lets Symeon drift closer to the surface, just enough to trick his DNA into letting the Sight emerge so he can watch a dark-haired girl who can only be _her_ drift into a storage room. Two boys follow her, all three clearly Nephilim; one has ruffled black hair and pale skin Marked with runes and Symeon winces at the memory of bloody feathers and pain-dazed blue eyes. _Alexandriel_ , as obvious as the girl is Isabiel. The other boy can only be described as golden, with tanned skin and bright hair and eyes that- although they can’t actually be seen from the other side of the room- they know instinctively are as gold and brilliant as Symeon’s own.

Simon takes his body back, watching his destiny fade away into invisibility as he loses the Sight, and smiles.

* * *

Jace, because that’s his name now, just Jace, tackles him in the bushes outside Luke’s house. Simon goes down willingly, glasses getting knocked askew, and guiltily enjoys Jace’s body pressing into his own _(it’s usually the other way around but that doesn’t matter now)_.

Jace looks at him with disdain when Clary tells him who he is. It hurts more than Simon thinks it should, and Sinon tells him that it always hurts more than it should simply because Jace disapproves.

(( _He disapproves of my existence._ ))

(( _He disapproved of mine._ ))

(( _Should I punch him, or should I cry?_ ))

(( _Latter option, and later. He can’t think we’re weak._ ))

Simon swallows and snarks back. He can react later.


	2. Isabelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating will be much less frequent now that I'm back at school, since I can have up to around *makes thinking face* five hours of homework a night ;_;. But they will come, I promise!  
> And by "updates", I mean I will publish something new or upload a new chapter of an existing work in the hwga(siye) series. So this? This might be my only upload of the week. Sorry.  
> ONWARDS, MINIONS!!!

Isabelle feels strange tonight, despite the routine of the task at hand. She’s going with her brothers to a mundane club to kill an Eidolon; nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to prompt this sort of response. She feels flushed and dizzy one moment, then cold and invincible the next. She wonders if she’s somehow sick, if a demon had slipped a poison or disease into her when she wasn’t paying attention. It seems unlikely, but there must be some sort of explanation.

She ignores it for the moment and strides into the club. The music pulses in her bones, making her head spin and her vision go blurry; she stumbles slightly, but she manages to wave Alec’s concern away and keep walking. She spots the demon quickly and beckons him, pulling her ‘cold and gorgeous’ mask out and slipping it on almost effortlessly, smirking and gliding and summoning her prey with nary a thought. She notices his intrigue and a spike of hot satisfaction goes through her as he approaches; she feels grounded, suddenly, the sickness and strangeness dissipating and being replaced with _power_ , confidence and beauty and strength. She turns, hips swaying, and she feels a surge of sweet fire shiver up her spine as he follows her.

Isabelle feels two pairs of eyes on her back now, the demon’s feeling slick and repellant, but the other hot and honey-sweet, and it makes another shiver crawl up her back. It’s not an unwelcome gaze, and Isabelle glances over her shoulder once more as her brothers get into position along the walls, readying themselves for the ambush.

It’s a pair of bright green eyes, glittering and lined in darkness, that Isabelle finds. They belong to a girl- and Izzy doesn’t quite manage to be surprised at herself for the gender of her watcher-, a girl with fiery hair and milky skin, cheeks dusted with freckles and flushed a soft pink. She’s staring at Izzy and the demon both, but she doesn’t seem to notice Isabelle’s looking back; her eyes shift to the boys instead, and Isabelle has no explanation for the surge of jealousy and cold fear in her stomach when the girl’s eyes move.

She shakes herself and makes eyes at the demon once more before disappearing entirely inside the room. She has a _job_ to do, for Raziel’s sake; there is no time for foolish fancies.

(She ignores the soft coil of heat under her collarbone, the one that unfurled and grew when the girl’s eyes settled on her for the first time. She will continue to ignore it for a long, long time, because Clary _doesn’t want her_ the way Isabelle desperately needs Clary, and there is no point in giving the warmth attention if she is just going to be crushed down anyway.)

 


	3. Isabelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD I'M SO SORRY  
> I know this 'verse hasn't been updated in months, and I am SO SO sorry about that ;_; But I was pouring all my writing energy into "Observing Galaxies"- I WROTE 31K IN TWO MONTHS, DAMMIT- and I barely had enough left over for school and life. Sorry!  
> Anyway. Have an update on this. I'll probably upload another chapter of hwga(siye) tomorrow, if I get the time...

Jace tells her and Alec about the mundane (or not mundane, considering she withstood Marks) in their infirmary. Alec’s eyes go wide with anger and envy and fear, and he tells Jace off with a slight quiver in his voice.

Both Isabelle and Jace watch him leave with sad eyes.

Jace leaves to get something to eat, and Isabelle sits there for a long time, just thinking. The girl who’d stared at her in Pandemonium, the girl who’d captured her adopted brother’s interest right off the bat, the fiery girl with bright green eyes and an  _ aura _ around her that just drags Isabelle in… is asleep in the infirmary because she and Jace were attacked by a demon and she shoved a Sensor down the demon’s throat. 

If she doesn’t have Raziel’s blood somewhere in her family line, Isabelle will never don makeup again.

Jace barely leaves the girl’s ( _ Clary’s _ ) side for three days, but in the spaces when Jace is asleep or eating or otherwise occupied, Isabelle (if she’s not with him) is in the chair beside the bed, staring down at the pale, freckled face. She’s aware that Jace has "dibs" (and since when is Isabelle even attracted to girls, anyway??) and that she’s acting kinda like a stalker, but 1) Jace is being even more stalkery than she is and 2) you cannot  _ call dibs _ on a person dammit and Isabelle is perfectly within her rights to admire this work of art while she’s asleep…

Yeah, okay, that sounds bad even in her head. But she can’t help it! Clary is  _ magnificent _ , bright and unflinching (and Isabelle doesn’t care that she barely knows this girl, those are facts written in stone- no, written in bone and flesh and blood, the letters burned in with heavenly fire- and she just  _ knows _ this like she knows that Alec is her brother and Jace is heading for disaster), a glittering jewel set in a gray stone wall. She burns in the darkness the way Jace does, two stars ready to go supernova amongst a field of dark, dull planets; they suit one another, Isabelle tells herself, and she steadfastly ignores the stab of agony the thought causes. They are suited to one another in a way that few are, but she wonders if that very  _ sameness _ that she sees in them will cause more harm than help; they could be perfect together, two stars joining and making something blindingly brilliant and benevolent, or they could collide and destroy one another- a supernova triggering another, and together causing the destruction of everything around them.

She sits at Clary’s bedside, hands close enough that she can feel Clary’s heat but never quite touching  _ (she fears the contact for a reason she cannot quite name) _ , and she watches her face. She memorizes every detail of that face, and she’s never been an artist but she thinks that she could draw Clary's face blindfolded if she had to. She knows that the slender, serene face will feature in her dreams for a long time to come, and she thinks that she won’t mind that at all.

Clary stirs beside her, and Isabelle leaps up to get Jace.

Maybe she wants Clary. Maybe she wants Clary more than she’s ever wanted anything else in her life. Maybe she can’t imagine a future without that face in it every day. Maybe she can see Clary’s fire consuming Isabelle, and maybe she wants that so much it hurts.

Maybe she wants all of it.

But Clary is Jace’s first, Isabelle’s… maybe never. And Isabelle is not selfish enough to deny her scarred, angry, horribly isolated brother this. 

_ (well, maybe she has two brothers that fit that description, but she can't give Alec Clary. she can't help him the way she can Jace. she can give Clary up to Jace, just by never trying to claim Clary away from him.) _

She watches Jace race into the infirmary and she hears the first words of their conversation, calm and suave like he’s been there the whole time instead of Izzy, and she pretends her heart isn’t glass and ashes inside her chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Gods, I am SO SORRY that I took this long to even START posting this. I've been promising it for so long and now it's finally here! Rejoice!  
> I really am sorry; it was shitty of me to hold this off for so long. Now all I need is comments to convince me I made the right move!  
> Also: I do believe my minions are getting another outtake tonight, for being so awesome and patient with their flaky overlord... :) Love y'all! <3


End file.
